Trump Family Unveils New Business to Combat Another Woke Industry

Well, it looks like the Trump family is back at it again—this time stepping into the cutthroat world of mobile phones. Yes, you heard that right. Trump Mobile just launched, and it’s already causing a stir. Because apparently, if you can build skyscrapers, run a global brand, and take on the entire D.C. establishment, running a phone carrier is just the next logical move.

Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump rolled out the announcement on the 10-year anniversary of their father—President Trump—descending that iconic escalator and lighting a political firestorm the media still hasn’t figured out how to put out. Fitting, honestly. The Trump name disrupted politics, media, and social media. Now they’re aiming at an industry that’s just ripe for some America First disruption: telecommunications.

Let’s be real—cell phone companies today are a joke. You pay a ridiculous price every month for basic service, get stuck in contracts written by lawyers for other lawyers, and every time you call customer service, you’re stuck talking to a call center overseas. That “press 1 for English” nonsense has become standard. And for what? Spotty coverage and fees stacked so high they could reach the top of Trump Tower.

So here comes Trump Mobile, proudly American, offering what Don Jr. says is a “whole package of products.” We’re talking telemedicine, roadside assistance, global texting, and unlimited patriotism, all wrapped into one monthly fee: $47.45. Why? Because he’s the 45th and 47th president—get it? Branding on point.

And if that wasn’t enough Trump bling, they’re teasing a new “TI Phone” (Trump Industries? Trump Innovation? Trump Iconic? Who knows, but it sounds luxurious). It’s gold. Of course it is. Because when you’re winning this much, you don’t need a plain black phone made in China. You get American-made excellence. Sleek, gold, and performance-driven—just like the man himself.

Naturally, the media and left-wing pearl clutchers are already whining about conflicts of interest. Same broken record: “divest this,” “ethics that.” Meanwhile, President Trump is making billions off ventures like Truth Social and now building an empire that actually keeps jobs in America. Maybe instead of crying to the New York Times, critics should ask why we’ve let foreign-run tech monopolies dominate the market in the first place.

Bottom line? Trump Mobile isn’t just a phone service—it’s a message. It’s another way to put America First. And once again, it’s President Trump leading the charge.